Yeah, I know, bit of a punchy headline that right?
“Why I SHOULD be bald??!!” kind of against the grain that one isn’t it?
Well listen pal, if you’ve got a few hair issues going on right now and are anything like I used to be, you’ll be telling yourself 10, 20, 30, 100000 reasons why going bald SUCKS BIG FAT HAIRY TESTICLES
So I thought I’d take this opportunity to give you a few alternative reasons, from a seasoned slap head, an OG in the game, to a young gun who might be on the edge of stepping into this quite frankly awesome, aerodynamic world
If that sounds like you then you NEED to read on
If it doesn’t? Read on anyway and enjoy some literary class.
You see back when I was in your shoes (a pair of size 7 Air Max 90’s hopefully) I was a real “hanger on”
I point blank REFUSED to give in to the clippers, even though I had more scalp than hair and everyone around me was going on all Nike – “just do it”
I knew it looked shit as it was but had convinced myself it would look MORE shit once I’d taken the plunge
In fact for 3 long years I held on….THREE BLOODY YEARS
That’s a lot of living under a cap, a lot of being scared of rain and not wanting to go swimming (I know you know what this means), a lot of situations where I had the self confidence of newly born gazelle in the Masai Mara
If I’d have known at the time what I was missing out on….
If I’d have known the fruits I’d be greeted with….
If I’d have known just how great my life would have been….
I would’ve given in way sooner
In fact to be honest with you right now, I’m pretty pissed off that no one told me all of this because my friend, there is a WHOLE WORLD OF LIVING available to you that could be just the other side of the “River No Hair”
You just need to cross it
And right now I want to help you do that by giving you all that info that no one gave me (well, at least give you a bit of a start)
An insight into what you’re missing out on and to show you that maybe, just maybe you’re talking yourself out of more fun, more hot dates and more happiness
So put your willy away, pull your pants up, grab a cup of tea (other hot drinks are available) and let’s create some new stories in your head that SERVE you rather than damage you
Let’s dive in - 10 Reasons Why You SHOULD Be Bald
1. You’ll NEVER have to worry about going bald ever again in your entire life
You may be young now but give it time and your mates will soon catch up
Once they all start stressing about their hair you can kick back, observe and watch them all come grovelling back to you wanting to borrow your factor 50
2. Your levels of self confidence will massively GROW
Guys are not very nice to each other are they. At least my mates aren’t
We like to rip into our buddies at every opportunity and to be honest, it’s usually pretty funny
Now yours will undoubtedly rip into you about having no hair but that right there is exactly what’ll help propel your self confidence into oblivion
Your skin will become thicker (metaphorically, not in real life, that’d just be weird). You’ll become better at laughing at yourself. You’ll learn how to make jokes about your hair and your personality will flourish.
Don’t get it twisted, I am fully aware that in the short term you’ll feel pretty damn crap. I get that. But longer term, your confidence, personality and self esteem will have an afterburner shoved up there are and boy will you GROW
3. Bald guys get more hot dates
We all know it. Girls know it. Boys know it. Some of them think they don’t know it but deep down really know it.
Every human finds bald guys more attractive. End of.
NB. I may or may not have zero proof for this but lets roll with it anyway.
4. You’ll have MORE free time AND MONEY
Yes way my man.
With the absence of haircuts look at what you’ll get back….
720 HOURS which is 30 DAYS
That’s over four weeks!!!
Oh and lucky you, not only that but you’ll have £7200 to spend on whatever you want (as long as it’s not a hair transplant)
That is insane
(Assuming one haircut per month that takes an hours out of your day and costs £10)
5. No more mirrors on nights out
We all want to look good right? We’re a vain bunch.
Imagine not having to worry about whether your perfectly coiffed hair is still sitting nicely on top of your head, ever again.
No more trips to the toilet to check it’s ok.
No more sly glances at your reflection (everyone knows what you’re doing anyway bro)
Leaving more time to work your magic on the local offerings with this new found bald confidence you’ve got. Bonus.
6. You get a lie in!
Let’s be honest styling the locks you have left is a f*cking ball ache every morning
Gel on your fingers, “it doesn’t look right today”, more reinforcement that you’re becoming a bald bastard. More negative vibes being logged by your subconscious. More doom and gloom.
Shave it off and that morning faff goes away leaving you more time in bed to play with yourself (or be productive, get up and get a bit of exercise in instead)
7. Welcome to your new IDENTITY
“mate can you call Phil…..who?..... You know Phil……who?......PHIL……who?......you know the bald guy……oh Phil why didn’t you say”
People will start to know you, you’ll stand out, make an impression
And guess what, that makes us more attractive
No one like boring vanilla dude……stand out from the crowd. Not a lot, just a bit.
(and by the way this does serious wonders for your confidence levels too. Bonza)
8. You’ll become one of the “brothers”
Now this is PURELY anecdotal, don’t quote me on this ok
But since becoming a bald eagle myself I started to notice other bald blokes looking out for me
They let me out in traffic….
Give me “the nod” walking down the street like some sort of masonic greeting…
And at parties there’ll ALWAYS be a baldie you can talk to…
No more hanging about on your own, welcome to the club bro
9. Nothing, I mean nothing that you’re telling yourself right now, will come true
You’re worrying about the baldness the because of those stories right?
You won’t give in and shave it because of what you THINK will happen
You’ve asked yourself so many times – “why me?” and convinced yourself that your life is about to end that now you actually believe it
Wow. With such believable stories like that you should be a story teller dude
Listen, NONE OF IT WILL COME TRUE
10. I’m going to sadly end one one VERY REAL problem
Unfortunately there is just one very serious thing that will DEFINITELY happen once you decide to give in
And to be honest? It’s a monstrosity of a problem that I don’t like to talk about too much
Yep, hair clippings. Those little bastards are IMPOSSIBLE to completely clear up. They will be foiund in your bathroom for centuries to come no matter how many times you get the cleaner to “give the bathroom a little extra time this week please”
Oh well, it can’t all be roses can it?!
Listen, there aren’t many things in life I regret but spending 3 years worrying about my hair is one of ‘em
Take from me, that seasoned OG, it will in no way shape or form be anywhere near as bad as you think it will be and if you hate it? I’ll grow mine out for a whole month
Now THAT is a horrible thing to do…..
Ps. Remember, you can ALWAYS create confidence
I teach this to the guys on my signature “Project Upgrade” programme
The first step? Regain control of your body
Now I’ve written a totally FREE 10 day email course that’ll tell you EXACT STEPS to take
10 days of info all about transforming what you look like. It’s a belter and if you follow it, I guarantee you’ll see a difference and consequently FEEL different
Shove your email in that orange box down below to get involved
(just be sure to check your junk box as I sometimes end up there)